Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Things That Make No Sense


Do you do things that make no sense, whatsoever? Brett Butler and the Southern Belles of Comedy Tour pointed out a few for me.

*You go to the doctor’s office where you strip, don a paper dress, then ball up your underwear and put it in your purse. You don’t want your doctor to spot your cotton briefs when your feet are up in the stirrups.

*Cleaning your house before a cleaning lady shows up. (My version of this is cleaning the hotel room for the maid. I used to be a hotel maid so I try to make as little work as possible for them.)

*Washing your hair before going to the hair salon. (Trust me, my hairdresser does comment on hair that is disgustingly dirty.)

* Asking a hypochondriac how she is. (You know she’s never good and will tell you why in five hundred words or more.)

*Having medical tests you don’t need. (Went for my annual. Was told my weight and health was good, then was prescribed five expensive medical procedures simply because I was fifty-one.)

*Almost any type of politician. I refuse to vote for people that are dumber than me and make no sense. This limits my voting opportunities.

*Women dumping nice guys to chase after bad boys.

*Most wedding cakes are inedible. Others are simply for show, with that in mind why pay so much for cake that doesn’t taste great.

*Size four mannequins in your local clothing stores that doesn’t even stock size four.

*Super high heels, platform shoes, and any other foot crippling shoe design. I am betting men come up with these shoe designs.

* Hairless dogs or cats. They always look so cold. Did they have a vote in this selective breeding program?

* Women’s clothing sizes that aren’ standardized. Often I can wear smaller sizes in more expensive brand names. Go figure. It makes it hard for our husbands and honeys to buy us clothes without ending up in the doghouse.

*Slasher movies-pretty, slutty girl gets killed first. Nerdy girl without boyfriend outsmarts killer, and yet all the teen girls want to be the chick that doesn’t last five minutes.

* Well-meaning relatives-they start out by saying how happy they are you’re getting married, then proceed to tell you of all the possible things that could go wrong. Seem rather oxymoronic on their part.

 I could go on forever, but I’d rather hear what makes no sense to you.


Sheila Tenold said...

People who boast about gym memberships who never step over the threshold. Those bragging rights are darned expensive.

Wendi Sotis said...

Needed a laugh - thanks!

morgan said...

Hi Sheila,

Once a year around January my gym is super crowded, The regular members can't wait until March until most of the newbies fall away. I like to think they are exercising outdoors. :) Thanks for stopping by.

morgan said...

Hi Wendi,

I am glad I was able to provide you with a laugh.

Misty Dietz said...

Women spend 9 months nurturing a new human being in our own bodies, then go through labor and delivery, maybe even nurse...and we're rewarded with saggy boobs and flabby guts? WTF?

morgan said...

I think we should get much more than that. What's worse, often men leave the mother of their child because she has a slack tummy and saggy boobs.

Denise Pattison said...

Totally agree with everything you posted.

I've come to the conclusion men design women's restrooms too. Oh, and how about the ones where they put a trash bin behind the commode and it has a foot pedal? Hmmm, where exactly do they want me to put that feminine hygiene product? They really want me to TOUCH that disgusting trash bin?

morgan said...

You do have a point. I also heard a man designed pantyhose, which can be labelled as a torture device or at least a vise.

Josie said...

Great post and well-said. Thanks!

Mona Risk said...

Hilarious and so true. Guilty of the hairdress one.

morgan said...

Hi Josie,
I thought of another one. Thinking a man is smart because he's handsome. I have a student at school I've worked with extensively for the last four years. I still expect him to be smarter than he is because he is movie star handsome. All the other teacher expect the same thing. Duh.
Thanks for commenting

morgan said...

Hi Mona,
I tried to conquer the hairdresser one, but my hairdresser can be catty, but I still patronize him.