Trusting your instincts. We all have gut instincts that tell us whether or not something feels right. Learning to trust those instincts can be difficult.
In my life I have found myself doubting my instincts, and then regretting, later finding out if I had gone with my gut instinct things would have been different, and better. Through the years after not trusting my instinct, I started doubting my judgment period. Wanting to put that behind me, I have resolved to start trusting my instincts. How can you start trusting instincts when past has proven you as not a good judge of what's right and wrong?
Hindsight is 20/20 they say and how true that is. Now entering a new phase in my life, I wonder if I can trust my instincts. I want to trust them when I feel that my life is getting better and better and I have to let down the walls and learn to trust others again. Is it that easy though? Not at all.
In my first manuscript, trusting someone with her heart, my heroine found was most difficult. After writing The End, I realized that allowing her to begin to trust the hero of the story, I found myself letting go of pieces of the walls surrounding my heart. As it was shattered in the near past, I realized that sometimes you don't trust your instincts and it brings more pain than is bearable.
So as I enter this new phase in my life, walls built up high around my heart, yet not letting go of the love of my life, I wonder if I can trust again. Can I allow those walls to crash down and can I allow my hero to help repair those shattered pieces. My instinct says yes. How well can I trust that instinct if in the past I have ignored it and regretted it.
If we can write happily ever after, why can't we live it? No, we can't write the hero to do exactly as we want, but can we write our life to be as free as conflict as possible and allow ourselves to be strong and instinctive. As parents we are instinctive on how to protect our children, yet with ourselves we don't always trust our instincts and instead shut ourselves away, or hurt people we love just to get the first hurt in thinking it will save us from being hurt. In the end it only hurts us more deeply than we could have imagined.