Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What Grabs the Eye and Heart

In the world of boy meets girl, you ever wonder how the points of attraction changes? What matters? According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, in her book, WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN, she explains how the initial physical attraction works and why.  

Ever wonder why the girl who developed breasts first suddenly became the most popular girl at school with the boys? Most of us thought it was because she was easy or at least that was the rumor, which may or may not have been true. This particular girl epitomized the basic differences between male and female by being the first to display secondary sexual characteristics (i.e. boobs.)  No matter how dweeby the boy, he felt more manly around her. That was her allure.  Boys, still somewhat confused about their sexual identity, found some clarity standing next to her.

Dr. Joyce Brothers believed that instinctively the men were drawn to the breasts on a primitive level because they felt she would be able to bear and nurse children.(All thirteen year old boys think this.) On the other hand, they felt assured of their masculinity by just standing beside someone who wasn’t male. In short, men who need to compensate for their lack of true manhood prefer to only date your D-cup girls.  Psychology Today magazine also shows a parallel that the better socially adjusted a man the less he needs to date a supermodel-like woman for esteem issues.

Dr. Joyce Brothers explained that women used to be drawn to big shouldered men with powerful, hairy chests. On the primitive level, this man showed he could protect her with his powerful physique. His level of hairiness demonstrated a high level of testerone flowing through his body indicating he’d have a decent sperm count. You may have noticed women don’t really like the big, hairy-chested guys anymore. Wonder why?

The media influences tastes by showing slender, hairless men in commercials, magazines, and movies. Hairy guys are getting waxed in droves in hopes of finding a mate. Many guys are shaving all over convinced that hair is the opposite of attractiveness. This explains all the bald men currently walking the streets.

What do men first notice about women? According to a survey taken in South Florida, it is their butt, their legs, their eyes, their face, and breasts. The survey taker pointed out because of a strong Cuban presence, the men preferred a fully rounded derrière.  There is no mention of hair, but in all other Southern states, long hair is the number one attraction. One man described long hair as hiding a multitude of flaws, everything from jughead ears to a lack of a firm chin line. As far as color, men want what they don’t have. If they are brunettes, they prefer blonde, but all like redheads.

An unusual study in Australia showed single men pictures of women that had their arms photo shopped. No matter what the woman looked like they always picked the women with the longer, proportioned forearms. It appears the men were responding to symmetry in nature. That means when my hairdresser told me I had great forearms that really was a compliment.

What do women want in men? The number one item is height. If your sweetie or husband is around your height or shorter, than you are a rare woman, but it may be you’ve netted a great guy that other women overlooked. On dating sites, women will put 6’ or taller as their first requirement. Only 13% of the US males meet that standard. Some of those men are married, old, gay, or just plain jerks.

Another thing women like is hair, a full head of hair. Bald men are becoming less popular. Men with thinning or receding hair are usually considered after the thick haired men, or bald men fail to pan out.

What do you think the third most desirable male quality is? Is it his smile, his eyes, his trim torso? Nope. it’s income.  A woman can tell what a man is approximately worth by where she meets him at. Plenty of money guys hang out at the county club, golf course, or opera house. She notices what he wears and is very cognizant of labels and tailoring.  By the company he keeps, he tends to hang out with other high wage earners. Before you classify the woman as a gold digger keep in mind she might want to start a family and needs a good provider. Income is the new broad shoulders and hairy chest.

After the wallet test, a woman likes a man who smiles. He makes her feel good about herself. He also gives the appearance of having things under control, and that’s attractive. If he can manage his world well enough to smile about it, then he can also manage their world.

Trends change as noted by men engaging in waxing, and full figured women coming back in style. Yes ladies, men are saying they prefer women with meat on their bones. A rather odd change is coming about due to the youth-oriented culture that is rather narcissistic in nature. Think of the thousands of pictures your son, daughter, niece, etc. has posted on Facebook, or the endless videos they posted on Youtube.  These are people who enjoy looking at themselves. It makes sense they’d prefer someone who looks like them. Enter FaceMate, a dating service that matches up your face to the most similar face it can find of the appropriate sex.

Apparently seeing your face on someone else’s body encourages trust, comfort, and happiness. Just take a gander at Jerry Seinfeld and his wife.

Next time you have your hero spot your heroine, what will he notice about her? Even though I read what women do notice first, I tend to notice a man’s actions. A man being patient with children, pets, or even incompetent salespeople impresses me. Next, if I am close enough, the voice. Is his voice under control, free of anger and tenseness? Is there a hint of life, or humor in it? I guess it goes to show people like different things.

What do you notice first? What attracted you to your DH?


Janet Miller said...

Nice article! Actually my hubby looks a lot like someone who might be in my family already. He doesn't really look like I do, or at least did when we first met, but he does look like other family members.

But what attracted me to him was his smile and the way it lit up his eyes. He has gorgeous eyes and when he smiles, they do as well.

morgan said...

How wonderful your love for your hubby is it should:)

Mona Risk said...

What a fantastic post! So true and fun. You remind of my daughter asking a guy she just met at a bar to take off his cap. Why? Because the previous one she met wore a cap. Later she discovered he was bald. Guess what? She didn't like bald and wasn't taking chances anymore.

Josie said...

This is such an interesting post. So income is important to a woman? I guess that has to be a consideration. Not romantic, but certainly logical.