Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Joanne- Classic Dave Barry

Hi everyone, It's the 8th of the month and time to share another hilarious Dave Barry Classic. Today, Dave writes about opening a pickle jar. (yes, really!) "I found out from the Internet that when you get to be my age (old), you lose bone density and muscle mass. This alarmed me, because I never had any muscle mass to begin with. Men: You know how, when your wife can't open a pickle jar, she gives it to you, and you're supposed to smile in a manly patronizing way as you effortlessly twist it open? That's not what happens in our house. What happens is, after a grim struggle lasting several minutes, I wind up lying on the kitchen floor, exhausted and whimpering, while the pickle jar, unopened, laughs and flirts boldly with my wife. Sometimes it gives me a wedgie." Me again: OK, everyone, how "manly" is your man? Please leave a comment.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

My guy turns on the hot water, puts the jar directly under the stream and starts talking about the different expansion properties of glass and metal. Good thing for me I always had a thing for the nerdy type!

Mary L. Ball said...

My hubby is pure "If I can't do- it can't be done." Believe me, it will come open no matter how much the jar needs to be forced or what tools the process takes. His manly self will not fail. Even after 20 years he still thinks he has to be Mr. Strong for little olé weak wife. :-)

Bonnie McCune said...

My man broke his wrist recently and had to have a plate put in. He's using physical therapy and those big rubber bands to build himself up. Maybe Barry should go to a physical therapist. Bonnie McCune, author, "A Saint Comes Stumbling In"

Dawn Marie Hamilton said...

Hi Josie, Thanks for the laugh. My hubby struggles and mostly succeeds. :)

Mona Risk said...

My man will try and try until it's open. If it doesn't then he'll declare, "Throw it. It's too old. I'll buy a new one tomorrow."

Josie said...

Extremely, funny. Nerdy is good. :)

Josie said...

Mary,
My dh is the same way. That's OK with me. :)

Josie said...

Oh, Bonnie, that's too bad about your husband. Hope everything is OK.

Josie said...

Dawn,
My hubby struggles, too. Luckily they've invented those rubbery contraptions.

Josie said...

Mona,
Fresh pickles it is! :)

Anonymous said...

I wonder what kind of pickles would have the chutzpah to laugh and flirt--sweet? dill? My guess is bread & butter, sweet yet tart!

Terry Spear said...

My heroes could always open the jars! My dad used to tease us. He had the strongest hands of any man I ever knew. When he was 15, he was working on ropes for ships and I guess that's what did it. But he'd pretend to open the jar, or open it, then tighten it back on, then hand it to us!

I've used hot water or a rubber twisty jar opener thing, or taken a can opener and lifted the edges to help release the vacuum seal so that I can open it easily if nothing else works. Sometimes a girl has got to do it herself. But if a wolf came along? She'd be willing to let him show just how strong he could be. :)

Josie said...

Terry,
I've used the rubber twisty jar opener thing, too. Works like a charm!