Monday, August 8, 2011

Dave Barry describes the mating steps.

Hi everyone,
It's the 8th of the month, and time for a chuckle. Again, I'm sharing the hilarious Dave Barry's thoughts on the steps to mating. Hope you enjoy!

"Men are always trying to rush through the mating steps. Stand next to any construction site, and when an attractive woman walks past, you'll hear guy construction workers suggesting that she go directly to like, Step 74. This approach NEVER works. Construction workers have been trying it since they built the pyramids, and not in all that time has a woman ever said: "That's a great idea! Let's have carnal relations, right now, on this pile of dirt!" And yet guys keep trying. Why? Because we're dumber than fruit flies. Fruit flies at least have some clue what their mating ritual is supposed to consist of, whereas human guys get most of their information from letters written by imaginary people to Penthouse magazine."

Me again: Well, what do you think? Are guys as dumb as fruit flies? LOL! Please leave a comment.

16 comments:

Jill James said...

It does seem that way sometimes, doesn't it? My husband will tell you that he can only think of 3 or 4 things at a time. If I ask him a question one of those will have to go.

Dawn Marie Hamilton said...

Too funny. When I worked in Manhattan, I avoided construction sites for this very reason.

Mary Marvella said...

Well, men seem to have one track minds and they report that they think about sex a lot each day. I suspect their behavior is a lot like that of a kid. The love to show off their macho, not their brains, especially constructions types, and guys who hang in a group or any guy in a group.

Would they respond if a woman stopped and offered to do them right here, right now, drop 'em fellow! Especially if that woman said , oh, never mind, too small!

Paisley Kirkpatrick said...

Until about a year ago my husband could not think about two things at a time. If he was working on something and I'd ask him what he'd like for supper, he could not answer me.... Now he is amazing me and doing two or three things in a morning. I don't think they are so much dumb as they don't care and don't pay attention.

Mona Risk said...

OMG these comments are hilarious. Did you notice how men turn their head to follow a mini-skirt or bikini passing by? Yep, even if they are driving and can cause an accident with these distractions.

Josie said...

Jill,
I've had some major outside renovations done at my house this summer. It's amazing to watch, because the men all clump together. They wouldn't know how to multi-task, although I'm always doing several things at once.

Josie said...

Dawn,
I still avoid construction site and will cross the street if I see one up ahead.

Josie said...

MM.
LOL! Too funny! Yes, men have one-track minds, that's for sure.

Josie said...

Paisley,
Yes, I think men have very selective hearing when they want to.

Josie said...

Mona,
Yup, like we said, men have 1 track minds, and Dave Barry nails it perfectly. I love when he compares men to fruit flies.

Mary Ricksen said...

Yup, I got one dumber then a fruit fly, bumble bee, ant, you name it any bug at all!

Denise Dittus (FTHRW) said...

Okay, as I sit here toasting one of those over-stuffed marshmallows in my broiler (desperate doesnt even begin to explain my mood today) Im crakcing up at this blog. YES! Men usually think with the wrong 'head' dont they? Construction worker to CEO...cavemen, cavemen, cavemen. Thank God they have us to add a little dimension to their lives. My hubby of 20 years often comes to bed and says 'Babe, I just gotta relieve myself.' Like im a toilet or something!!! I have to admit, he can be extremely loving and sexy at other times, but Im sure its hard work for him. Gotta love em...or they'd still be trying to figure out what goes where! They are lucky to have us.

Vonnie Davis said...

At our writers group several months ago, I shared a chapter written in the hero's pov where he watches the heroine go for her morning run. One of the men in our group got all huffy and righteous, insisting that men don't think that way. I looked him dead in the eye and said, "Honey I worked in heavy metals industry with men for twenty-five years and raised two sons. For sure, men think that way. And if you didn't have your wife sitting next to you, you'd agree with me." 'Nuff said.

Josie said...

Mary R.,
Surely your dh can't be that dumb. :)

Josie said...

Denise,
Yes, guys are all the same. Dave Barry used construction worker guys as an example, but it doesn't matter--caveman to CEO, they're all the same.

Josie said...

Vonnie,
Good for you for telling that guy in your writer's group what he already knows but wouldn't admit.