Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Joanne--Dave Barry's Commencement address

Be prepared for a chuckle. The following is my monthly sharing of Dave Barry's humor. Today he addresses, at a very appropriate time of year, college graduates. Enjoy!

"Commencement Address to the College Class of ....

This is your big day---the day when you jam four years' worth of unlaundered underwear into a Hefty bag and leave college, prepared by your professors to go out into the Real World. The first thing you'll notice is that your professors did not go out there with you. They're not stupid; that's why they're professors. They've figured out that college is a carefree place where the most serious real problem is finding a legal parking space. So your professors are going to stay in college until they die. Even then, they'll go right on teaching classes. This is called tenure."

My question: What do you remember most about your graduation ceremony---whether it be high school or college?

17 comments:

Dawn Marie Hamilton said...

Hi, Joanne. That was a long time ago. I remember worrying about tripping on the gown and falling. :)

Mary Ricksen said...

Graduation from High School was pretty anticlimactic. I went spent my Senior year in Ottawa, Canada, at Hillcrest High. They graduate from grade thirteen there. So I was given a graduation certificate.
Seemed kinda unfair to get what for me was an equivalency diploma after four years of torture!!
So there you have my memory of graduation.

Beth Trissel said...

Love this. We just went through college graduation with our youngest daughter, and getting her and all of her stuff home was an effort. the ceremony was rained out in a sudden deluge/storm and so we did it all over again inside. Eventful.

Josie said...

Hi Dawn,
I remember worrying about tripping in my high heels!

Josie said...

Mary R.,
I wasn't aware of that 13th year in Canada. I believe it's 13 years in Europe, also?

Josie said...

Beth,
You recently mentioned your daughter had graduated. Wow---what an eventful day. It must have been chaos with people shuffling from outdoors to indoors. Congrats to your daughter!

Barbara Monajem said...

Hmmm. I remember almost nothing. I attended my high school graduation, but my dress wasn't long enough to trip on. I didn't attend my college graduation -- I had moved 3000 miles away by the time the ceremony took place.

Denise said...

The thing I remember most about graduating from nursing school--it was my 12 year anniversary and my husband was working out of town. He wasn't there.

I graduated on a Friday night and went to work Monday morning. The graduation was December 15th and everybody else I graduated with wasn't going to start work until after the holidays.

Josie said...

Barbara,
That's interesting that you had moved away before your college graduation. And 3000 miles? Wow--that's a big move.

Josie said...

Denise,
It must have been hard to graduate without your DH in the audience. I'm sure his absence couldn't be helped, and he made up for it. :)

Denise said...

Yeah, it was hard. His work takes him all over. We always tried to make the times he was home for events extra special. Still, there were times the kids and I wished he'd been there and I know he wanted to be there. It's one of the reasons I go with him now, we've been apart too much over the years.

Mary Marvella said...

You do what you must.
Cool blog, Joanne. I graduated from college on a Friday afternoon in August, (3 years, including 3 summers) and began my teaching job on Monday. I was 3 days late for pre- planning.

Clarissa Southwick said...

I actually skipped both my high school and college graduations. I was always in a hurry to move on to the next adventure. That and the thought of walking across stage with thousands of people watching terrified me. I would have tripped. I'm sure of it :) Thanks for a laugh.

Mona Risk said...

Did not attend graduation from college, we were traveling. What's new!! Did not attend Master Degree graduation, was nine months pregnant and delivered the week after. But graduation from my
PH.D. was something else. I carried the flag for Graduate School and marched in the auditorium ahead of the professors' procession. My kids (12 and 16 at the time), hubby and Mom sat with the guests. Dad didn't attend as he had a stroke the night before and was still in a bad shape.

Josie said...

Good for you, Denise. It must be fun to travel with your husband. Beats staying home by yourself.

Josie said...

Mary M.,
Wow---you didn't waste any time! Neither did I. I finished music college in 3 years instead of 4, then got married 3 weeks afterward. DH and I are getting ready to celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary on Tuesday.

Josie said...

Mona,
Although you weren't able to attend your college and Master's ceremony, good for you for enjoying a spectacular doctorate ceremony. So sorry your Dad couldn't be there, but I'm sure your Mom and children and DH enjoyed it.