I’m scared about the bilateral knee replacement surgery I’m slated to have in one month. The pain (I don’t do pain well), the physical therapy, tottering around with a walker for a month, being dependent on my husband for who knows what needs…none of it pleases me. I’ve been a healthy, energetic, independent woman all my life and I hate the idea of being weak, in pain and needing support from others.
What’s more, I’m told that the artificial parts they’ll place in my knees won’t “feel” like me/mine/real. That gives me pause. Daily, hourly, minute-by-minute, will my knees remind me that I have fake elements as essential mechanisms? Will I have to think too much about what has been an involuntary act for more than half a century?
What will it feel like to walk, climb, exercise? Will I still have a good golf swing? Can I handle leaps from my boat to the dock and wrenching lines from the boat to cleats? How easily will I be able to hop in and out of the car, carry groceries, pull/carry luggage, work in the garden, climb a ladder so I can prune my fruit trees? Could it be that my scuba gear is still too heavy for my knees to bear…on a beach dive?
Will I be too tentative, knowing the limbs are part fake and maybe vulnerable? How afraid of falling will I be?
Anyone out there who’s had a bilateral knee replacement with some experience to share? I need to prepare mentally for what’s going to happen to my knees…and march through the stages of grief BEFORE I have the operation!
SUSPENSE SPIKED WITH ROMANCE
LAST RESORT, FADEOUT, SWOON
FADEOUT won a RONE award!