Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Terrible Confession

I have a horrible secret to confess.  I hate weddings.  I know—shocking a romance writer who hates weddings.  Please don’t take away my RWA card.  
I grasp the concept of people having a splendid affair surrounded by the people they love.  Yet to me sometimes I wonder if it’s that just a chance to show off.  Bridezillas demanding in a screech tone that everything must be perfect and seeming to be ugly people.  If I were the groom and saw my future wife acting in such a way I would snatch back the ring and hock it so I could get away from the monster. 
But another reason why I don’t like them is that the wedding day is just the beginning of the story.  It’s one day in what is rarely a lifetime.  I rather celebrate the couple’s fifth year anniversary or if the husband loses his job and together they make it through.  Or when if one become ill and the other is right at the side of the bed.  Those are the moments of we writers force our characters into and they have to overcome for their love.  Isn't that what marriage is about?  Better or worse, sickness and health, rich or poor.   
Romance novels might end with a wedding but that’s when the real story begins.  That is why the bride and groom stand side by side at the altar and where they have to be for the rest of the marriage.   
For this romance writer, the true romance is in the everyday whether washing dishes or picking up you husband’s socks because he can shot a basketball from the free point line but can’t get the hamper.  Or the wife who wants to talk during the Super Bowl and hubby keeps his eyes on the game and nods while making a grunt of agreement.   
Like every character, we have flaws but when loving someone means you just have to accept it. 


Carolyn Hughey said...

For me, weddings are the celebration of love, and while I didn't have a huge wedding, 52 people to be exact, it's something I will never forget.

And true, it is the beginning of the story, but as you say, no one is perfect and it's definitely a process of learning to choose your battles wisely.

I don't agree watching my husband trying to toss his clothes in the hamper and missing, is love. It's love when he picks them up after his miss and places them where they belong. :-) But more importantly, I think it comes down to respect for one another.

Very insightful post, Mageela.

Mona Risk said...

I enjoy your perspective on wedding. It's the same one I have on birthday celebrations. I hate the tra-la-la about birthday. What the big deal. We're just getting a year older and have no merit in the process. But I always celebrate wedding anniversary, a proof that we work hard at keeping a marriage going and happy.

Jill James said...

I have a friend who hates weddings. She won't even go to them. I love weddings, especially in an age that seems to think they are outdated and don't need them to be together.

It is such a celebration. You are standing in front of your family and friends and saying 'we will be together'. When times get tough your family and friends need to remind you of that standing up thing you did and make you stick to it. LOL

Helen Scott Taylor said...

Weddings are on my mind at the moment as I'm currently planning my daughter's wedding on June 3rd. I am looking forward to her wedding, which we plan to be a lovely celebration for all the family. In this day and age when so many young people don't choose to make that commitment to each other I am pleased she and her fiance are so keen to get married. But I completely take your point that the wedding day is just the start of the journey and many people seem to overlook this point. I think the same applies to couples waiting for the birth of their first baby. They seem to think the birth is everything when it is just the start of the rest of their lives with their child.

Joanne said...

So true, Mageela. The wedding is only the beginning, and just 1 day. My dh and I will be celebrating our 36th wedding anniversary in June. Although we remember our wedding day fondly, it's the years afterward that really count.

morgan wyatt said...

Hi Mageela,
Don't worry about not liking weddings. We all have things we dislike. I hate choir music, rap artist covering good songs, anyone covering the Beatles' songs, beer, and dare I say it, coffee.