This was written by the writing team of Marilu Mann when we were using a different pen name of Cai Stephan.
You know you're a writer if...
By Cai Stephan
1. You've ever forwarded a joke but only after correcting the spelling
2. You've ever edited your own email to a friend so that it wasn't in the passive voice
3. You've ever used a red pen while reading a book for "fun"
4. You don't know what reading a book for fun means
5. You can't watch closed caption TV because the captioners can't spell
6. You've wanted to go back on this list and correct the missing periods at the end of each sentence
7. You want to go back through this list and rewrite it so it is funnier and tighter
7. Your children won't let you read their math homework because you keep telling them the story problems would be better if the characters had clearer motivations
9. You've actually submitted better story problems to the Math book publishers because HEY being published is what it's all about
10. You didn't know that there are two number sevens on this list because that's a number problem.
11. You know the definition of TSTL and you strive to avoid it.
12. You know the meaning of GMC and can find it in any story you read.
13. Your friends and family delete anything you send them that has an attachment and the subject line of "I want your opinion".
14. You have EVER reshelved books of people you know so that they get a better shelf view.
15. You had any clue what #13 was referring to.
16. You are trying to add more sayings to this list as you read it.
17. You have ever been caught jotting down notes about people in a meeting that were character sketches.
18. You replay snippets of overheard conversations as dialog between your characters.
19. You watch people on the street, in the grocery store, at your kid's soccer games, to get an idea of what people wear when they're just out and about and use that as part of your character sketches.
20. You have EVER been falsely accused of being a stalker because you thought someone was interesting enough to follow.
21. You keep a journal by your bed for those ideas that "hit" you in the.middle of the night.
22. You've been known to tell your family NOT to interrupt your writing time - unless there's blood.
23. Your significant other knows they're going to get some serious ribbing about the love scenes in your most recent book, and they have the grace to just smile smugly when it happens.
24. You still blush when your family members read your books because you just KNOW they're going to read that love scene it took you hours to write.
25. You endure people wondering about YOUR love life when they read your love scenes. and it's YOUR turn to smile smugly.
And we know we are a writing team when we can happily announce our eighth story with Ellora's Cave. All Tied Up is part of the Merry Kinkmas story. This book is a Ménage à trois featuring Japanese rope bondage.
Wendy has a kinky fantasy—she wants to be tied up. Not just spread-eagle in bed, but with rope all over and around her body. She shares that with her lover Peter who arranges a session with local Kinbaku Master, James.
They learn that having sex at someone else’s direction while completely restrained is more than hot. Can they repeat their experience? Do they want to without Master Darling, who would like to make their arrangement more permanent?
You can learn more about this story here.
OMG, this is hysterical. And a testament that I found myself nodding and laughing at almost every single one!
Great post, Cai...and collective congrats on the new release!
Thanks Debra. Em, that's another sign that you're a writer. LOL (This is Arwen though.)
OMG #10. LOL
This is awesome
LOL! Great post. Thank you for the giggle.
fun stuff. now i'm going to get the coffee stains out of my pajamas.
So true everything on the list!
This is fantastic! :)
hilarious! Yes, last weekend my teenaged niece caught me writing in my journal while she enjoyed some marvelous gossip with a friend. "Are you writing down what I'm saying!!! Am I going to end up in a book somewhere??!!" She was coming unglued, while her friend just stared between the two of us as if we were deranged. "Of course not," I said. "I'm taking notes about the trees here. And the birds flying by. Just some poetry I'm working on..." (grins).
BTW - just to prove that I'm not completely lost, can you tell me what TSTL means?? (smiles)
TSTL = Too Stupid To Live. It's for those characters that KNOW there's a mass murderer in the house but go down to the basement anyway. LOL
I so resemble...er I mean relate to this list. I love to eavesdrop...no, I meant listen to dialogue to practice cadence and word usage. Yep, that's what I meant.
LOL. Loved all of them. You know you're a writer when you scratch down notes in the middle of the night and when you wake up in the morning, you have no idea what they say! I've resorted to using a voice recorder now!
Thanks! You put a smile on my face this morning. :) Good luck with the new release!
I smiled as I read this list. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes on your new release.
I never realized how predictable I was until I read these 25 thoughts about you’re an author when?
I've found myself doing this for ages. Sometimes, while reading, I find mistakes, miss spelled words, and I wonder how the devil it got past the publisher.
On number 24. You still blush when your family members read your books because you just KNOW they're going to read that love scene it took you hours to write.
They look at me and ask, are you for real? Or, Yeah, Hon, you wish.
I love number 25. You endure people wondering about YOUR love life when they read your love scenes. and it's YOUR turn to smile smugly.
Whenever anyone asks how I write my love scenes, and where did I do my research, if my darling husband hears, he puffs up, and tongue in cheek, answers before I can open my mouth. "I taught her everything she knows." How’s that for an answer?
My mother used to laugh and say, "Jaclyn always did have a vivid imagination."
Thanks for the list. I don’t feel so alone now that I know someone else reads the same way.
Lol this is great!
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