Friday, November 23, 2012
Dear Santa Jmo's been naughty...Again!
Dear Santa, I'm not sure who's in charge of your naughty list, but I think you need to recheck their job application. While walking on the beach, I happened to see one Julian Claus misbehaving in a most unClaus like way. I am quite aware that he is your son, but that doesn't change the fact the boy needs some home-training. Not only did he trespass on a private island, but he made googly eyes at my granddaughter. I don't care what cockamamie story he concocted about nearly drowning after his yacht went blooey. Trespassing is trespassing. In spite of what you might hear, I have no idea where that freak blizzard came from. The Bahamas have snow storms all the time, and I dare you to call me a liar! Where was I? Oh, yes the googly eyes. I don't know how you folks at the North Pole do things, but down south, menfolk don't take advantage of poor widder wimmen with two innocent children to take care of. If I had a shotgun, there'd be wedding bells in the air and not those silver bells chiming wherever you go. Though, I do like those. That's not the point. Your son is a hair's breath away from becoming a buckshot filled in-law. So, if I were you, I'd load that chunky tummy in that sleigh and get your rosy cheeked self down here and deal with this before I do. Neither of us wants that. Now, do we? Sincerely, M. Nature P.S. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you pick me up some of those little chocolates they sell in Switzerland that I like? You know the ones I'm talking about. The little swirly shaped blobs with cashews and caramel. Can't abide those jelly filled ones, as you very well know.